Our Blessings
Last night I was sitting on the couch enjoying some dvr catch up time, it was about 11:30, when Baby J (15 months old) woke up for his nightly feeding. I can't describe the excitement I felt to be the one that heard him first, therefore allowing me to be the parent to venture in, lift him from his crib, rock, soothe and nurse him(dad couldn't do that of course). As I sat there with him I relished in the moment, and realized how far we had come.
(Quick catch-up):
Our family navigated through a season that seemed never ending. We drew inward, closed up shop and focused on the battle at hand. I praise God everyday for giving us the strength and endurance to fight through and trust that He had it worked out, even though we wouldn't see the evidence for several months. After giving birth to our second child I was wheelchair bound due to a disc in my low back that had multiple herniations that were acting together to crush the nerve root at the base of my spine. After 5 months of stagnant, pain wrenching living I was cleared for surgery. I'm not sure which was worse, the pain or the inability to hold or care for my children. Hugs and snuggles aren't something we take for granted in our home! Can you imagine having a 2 year old and a newborn who want nothing more than their mommy to hold them..to take care of them? I couldn't even take care of myself, I went through an immense amount of guilt! I was called to be a wife, a partner to this amazing man and a mommy to these precious little boys and they deserve a healthy wife/momma..mind, body and spirit....I felt like they were all short-changed, I let them all down! But, God knows what we're capable of and he walked/walks it out with us every minute of everyday!! I prefaced it that way because the plot thickens, before I was scheduled for surgery Hubby began experiencing severe pain in his arm and needed immediate neck surgery. We were forced to put it off until after my surgery and some recovery time. One month after my back surgery, hubby had surgery to remove and fuse a herniated disc in his neck that was putting pressure on his spinal cord and pinching a nerve. We literally went through physical therapy together. The tough part being that I was seeing him progress everyday while I still struggled to stand for more than a few minutes at a time. Praise God for his miraculous healing, but I still envied his progress and his upcoming release from his doctors care. I was facing extensive muscle and nerve damage that could be permanent. I still battle this injury and a nerve disease that feels more like a life sentence, but I thank God everyday for his faithfulness and healing. We ( hubby and I) want our boys to know that struggles are real but they don't have to be game enders. We want our boys to see God graces in everything, whether it be big or small. They are still a little young to understand but we want their foundation to be built on Christ. People have asked us how we did/do it, how did we maintain our happiness, family and our marriage through such a rough season. And to that our answer is easy...we never lost our Faith or our Joy. God blessed us with a sense of humor!! It was a rough season but there were so many celebrations and milestones during that time that so many people take for granted. When baby J was 7 months old, I was permitted to pick him up for the first time. Brings tears to my eyes just remembering that moment! How often is the simple action of picking up your child overlooked? Really though, have you ever stopped and thought "what if I could never hold my kids again"? It's something to reflect on. I lived it, my day to day is still limited, but theres isn't a day that goes by that I don't thank God for bringing us through this season! I hated it but it has given me a renewed heart and perspective!
To any other parent that struggles with illness, disease or injury, bless you! My heart, thoughts and prayers are with you!! My only advice would be to never abandon your Faith and please hold tight to your Joy!! Be the light, don' hide in the shadows...Shine no matter the challenge!
Last night I was sitting on the couch enjoying some dvr catch up time, it was about 11:30, when Baby J (15 months old) woke up for his nightly feeding. I can't describe the excitement I felt to be the one that heard him first, therefore allowing me to be the parent to venture in, lift him from his crib, rock, soothe and nurse him(dad couldn't do that of course). As I sat there with him I relished in the moment, and realized how far we had come.
(Quick catch-up):
Our family navigated through a season that seemed never ending. We drew inward, closed up shop and focused on the battle at hand. I praise God everyday for giving us the strength and endurance to fight through and trust that He had it worked out, even though we wouldn't see the evidence for several months. After giving birth to our second child I was wheelchair bound due to a disc in my low back that had multiple herniations that were acting together to crush the nerve root at the base of my spine. After 5 months of stagnant, pain wrenching living I was cleared for surgery. I'm not sure which was worse, the pain or the inability to hold or care for my children. Hugs and snuggles aren't something we take for granted in our home! Can you imagine having a 2 year old and a newborn who want nothing more than their mommy to hold them..to take care of them? I couldn't even take care of myself, I went through an immense amount of guilt! I was called to be a wife, a partner to this amazing man and a mommy to these precious little boys and they deserve a healthy wife/momma..mind, body and spirit....I felt like they were all short-changed, I let them all down! But, God knows what we're capable of and he walked/walks it out with us every minute of everyday!! I prefaced it that way because the plot thickens, before I was scheduled for surgery Hubby began experiencing severe pain in his arm and needed immediate neck surgery. We were forced to put it off until after my surgery and some recovery time. One month after my back surgery, hubby had surgery to remove and fuse a herniated disc in his neck that was putting pressure on his spinal cord and pinching a nerve. We literally went through physical therapy together. The tough part being that I was seeing him progress everyday while I still struggled to stand for more than a few minutes at a time. Praise God for his miraculous healing, but I still envied his progress and his upcoming release from his doctors care. I was facing extensive muscle and nerve damage that could be permanent. I still battle this injury and a nerve disease that feels more like a life sentence, but I thank God everyday for his faithfulness and healing. We ( hubby and I) want our boys to know that struggles are real but they don't have to be game enders. We want our boys to see God graces in everything, whether it be big or small. They are still a little young to understand but we want their foundation to be built on Christ. People have asked us how we did/do it, how did we maintain our happiness, family and our marriage through such a rough season. And to that our answer is easy...we never lost our Faith or our Joy. God blessed us with a sense of humor!! It was a rough season but there were so many celebrations and milestones during that time that so many people take for granted. When baby J was 7 months old, I was permitted to pick him up for the first time. Brings tears to my eyes just remembering that moment! How often is the simple action of picking up your child overlooked? Really though, have you ever stopped and thought "what if I could never hold my kids again"? It's something to reflect on. I lived it, my day to day is still limited, but theres isn't a day that goes by that I don't thank God for bringing us through this season! I hated it but it has given me a renewed heart and perspective!
To any other parent that struggles with illness, disease or injury, bless you! My heart, thoughts and prayers are with you!! My only advice would be to never abandon your Faith and please hold tight to your Joy!! Be the light, don' hide in the shadows...Shine no matter the challenge!
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